We don't get listened to often -- it feels good when someone finally does! Let people vent, they won't go on and on if they really think you're listening to them.

Yes, there's always emotion involved, but emotion is the whole point of this stage (information-gathering doesn't come into the picture until exchange). So sit and listen and don't interrupt, not even to ask clarifying questions.

Remarkably enough, this is best done with '*both*' sides in the room. The key is to let each side speak, one at a time, without interruption. You can't interrupt, if you're the neutral third party, and you can't let the other side interrpt; your tools to do this include:

• Dirty looks
• Turning away from the interruptor
• Verbally shushing them (remind someone who hasn't yet spoken that they will get a chance -- they just want a chance to be heard, and you're giving them that here)

If you're inside the conflict, always be the second to go. Your opponent will listen better if he or she has already been heard.